Life's too short for this.

Not quite sure what I've been doing lately.
Feels like I've been wandering about, but I feel pretty lost.

Mummy has been pretty crazy lately, I'm not gonna elaborate because I'd much rather numb myself and just forget, but I'm just pretty tired of all of this.
Dysfunctional doesn't even begin to describe this mess of a family.
I don't know which other 16 year old has to worry so much about her parents.

--

Also, I have no idea what you want of me anymore.
Other than an unattainable perfection, maybe.
You wanted me to do well in school, I got the grades.
But it's never enough is it.

"Why can't you be like ____?" "Why are you so rude?" "Why can't you make me happy?"
And even if I were her, you wouldn't be satisfied because her results aren't fantastic.
Because you live in a little bubble, where everyone should work towards fulfilling what you want of them.

But I'll always love you, still.
Because I'm not so immature as to discount everything you've done for me over the past 16 years.
Because mistakes, flaws and all, I'm still unspeakably appreciative. 
And I know that as warped as your perspective is atm, it comes from a good place.

I guess you can go on and demand the world from me, and I know I'm not going to be able to deliver, so too bad for you I guess -- I give up. 



Maybe that's why I go around as if I have something to prove.
Because I do.