Staaaaaph

It is probably not the healthiest thing to distract myself from the shit on my mind by staring at some australian boy in a batman costume,
Or scrolling through tumblr for hours looking at random amusing nonsense the internet has come up with/ staring at said boy and his equally attractive bandmates.
But I'll do so anyway.

Okay I make wasting my life away sound like alcohol LOL.

In some fabulous twist of events, I'm this close to applying for H3 math. Which is possibly suicide, but so is H3 econs I guess? I mean, I can't even get past 10 words of my first essay hurhur.

Which reminds me why I didn't take a more humans-y course despite my interest -- because the unpredictability of such courses just throw me off. I'm afraid of failure. So. Damn. Afraid. And that has/ will probably always be an obstacle.
So maybe I should get over it. But what if I don't?

(The reason why I'm whining so much on here is because
1) I highly doubt anyone reads this so it's like my space to thinkkkk (if someone is reading this, hi.)
2) I don't know who to talk about this to, bc I worry that in their heads, they'll either be thinking something along the lines of "Is she crazy does she actually think she's smart enough" or "Stuuuuupid problems just don't take H3"
I should stop letting my insecurity cut me off from people.

I should stop doing a lot of things.
But I'll do so anyway.

Which brings me back to whattheheckdoIdo?

God, please guide me. 
:(