I haven't posted anything in forever since my thoughts have been channeled to either Dayre or typed out under password protect or written in my journal. I don't know why it's all so scattered, maybe I should stick to one site. But I'm here because I'm feeling v sentimental and I guess this is the place where one day (even now actually) I will look back and remember the milestones in my life.
Anyway. It just hit me that I'm literally in the last 30+ minutes of teenagehood. The 8 years I spent my childhood anticipating, and now they're almost gone. Whoa.
One of the perks of having kept (very intermittently) a blog for 9 years and counting is that I get to look back on the past and ~reflect~ on how much I've grown and how far I've come. So I did the only logical thing and went to my archives for March 2009 and well, posted on the 24th,
rawrr
its over,
im thirteen:D
ty EVERYONE for wishes/cards/pressies
i had a wonderful bday(:
im lazy to upload pics,
theyre on fb
:D
kk whatever
super tired
i skipped tuition tdy
cos i was so bloody seepy
sat go with chelsea:D
muahaha
kk
i shall steal quizzes from fb
bathe,
then go to sleep.
zzzzzzz.
thisone looks fun 0.0
Firstly, holyshitcringeattack the smileys and rawrr and zzzz.
Secondly, damn my life is so different. (Almost) entirely different friends, completely different family, different church, an entire CCA journey and then some. A lot of fangirling and moving from one band/actor/singer/youtuber to the next, and far too many hours spent watching shows. My dream of being a vet became a dream of being a lawyer, then to wherever I'm headed now. I let too many bridges burn and disintegrate, but I'm glad I've kept the most important friendships close to my heart *awwwwww*
I'd like to think that 13 year old Deborah would be proud of where I am now. She was a lot more idealistic, she hadn't dealt with the lot of shit 14-16 y o Deborah did, or the stress that Senior High Deborah learned to cope with. Right, I will stop writing in third person now, it feels awkward af. Point is, sometimes I wish I were 13 again, when I still had the luxury of making mountains out of molehills. But 13 year old Deborah also hadn't found things she was passionate about, or been on the adventures I've been on since.
I wonder where I'll be as I exit my 20s. Hopefully with a successful career. Dear goodness, I might even be married or (gasp) have children. That's scary.
The greatest thing I've learned over the rollercoaster that was my teenage hood is probably that God works in really, really mysterious ways and most of the time, it isn't apparent until I look back on the crazy coincidences and think about how nicely things lined up. So here's to putting the next phase of my life in God's hands, and trusting that I'll make it through the ups and downs by His grace.
I don't actually know what I'm expecting to happen at midnight, which is in 5 minutes as of now. My mum is excited because she thinks my teenage angst will magically disappear. Haaaa not likely. I'm secretly hoping that life will make a bit more sense. The rational part of me says that I will simply be another second older and life will carry on. It's probably right.
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