They say it's the people closest to you who make you hurt the most. I guess they're also the same people who make you question everything because you place high hopes on them and because they're human,  they inevitably fail you and leave you to wonder why exactly you let yourself go on the same emotional roller coaster over and over again.

Sometimes I wish I felt less, that I were more numb and detached from my surroundings. But no, I care too damn much and investing damns is precisely what pushes people off the edge. Specifically,  I wonder what it'd be like to be you,  to be so bloody self centered in the name of unselfishness. These days, I don't know if you're blind, dumb, or just a callous jerk who knows but doesn't give two shits about, well, anyone.

But why does it even matter. Excusable or not, I'll eventually end up at this spot, venting my pent up frustration with silent screams, words I'd never dare to say to your face because I know I'd just choke up and make a fool of myself. And you? You'd laugh me off as the selfish brat I'll always be in your mind. Both of your minds.

I'd call you a hypocrite but I guess that'd be unfair. All I can hope is that you'll open your bloody eyes and wake up sometime soon.