Vent.

One of those moods where everything seems to be swimming around in my head.

Can't exactly place my finger on what's bugging me, but I can't focus on any work.

After dinner, maybe.

So. Guess I'll attempt to pen down everything in my head rn. Maybe that'll let me find what's bringing me down this beautiful sunday evening.

School.

ASDFGHJKL the burden of knowing i can't afford to screw up, but the utter boredom and lack of motivation/inspiration.

Monotony.

CT week is in what, 2 weeks?

This time, i know i need God. I'm lousy on my own, God gives me strength.

So, so much riding on all of this.

Which brings me to the next.

That.

I need to escape so badly oh gosh.

Sometimes, it really feels like I'm being trapped.

I hate how your screw ups have landed on me.

I hate how there really isn't anything i can do but endure and worry.

Endure and worry.

Endure.

Just 3 more years, and if i don't screw up, bye.

but what if i do?

Then there's the question of how much i trust God.

I say I do, but do I really?
If yes, why am I even here fretting over things I have absolutely no control over?

I need faith. Faith moves mountains.

We delight in the prospect of falling in love. We crumble in the dread of falling from love. Everyone falls. Everything falls

Paradox. Hur.