This is kind of late by a few days, but i guess i really need to get empty the things floating around in my head for a bit.

Ouch.

That actually really hurt.

Feeling left behind, last to get picked.

Sure, there's a logical explanation, blah blah blah, I'm not alone.

But it sure didn't feel that way.

Because truth be told, it's been 4 years, I'm still a different person there.

And I know I shouldn't take this as an excuse to give anything less than my best,

But honestly, every fibre in me just doesn't want to.

Lol not like i have a choice.

But that's the point -- everything i do will be out of being forced, and not out of true passion or the heart to serve.

Which is the same as not doing it.

So.

Point is,

Being left on the bench just sucks.