Saturday, March 22, 2014

Eighteen / this is my song in the desert

I'm turning eighteen in 45 minutes.
Tick tock.

Somehow, this feels pretty anti-climactic, sitting here on the couch just thinking about life with whatever's left of my brain after a week of cramming for MCTs.

But yeah, eighteen.

I guess I'm pretty happy with where I've ended up after eighteen years on this planet.
Feels like I'm walking on a tightrope these days, but so far, so good.

So yeah, here's to semi-adulthood /clinks metaphorical glass of legal drink/

-

Dear God,
I'm freaking out over MCTs, but I know I shouldn't be, because You will pave the way and make everything okay in Your time.
That's what I keep telling myself, because I know that that's Your truth, but still my mind continues to somersault and my heart keeps beating faster and faster the more I think about it.
But You've held my hand through everything, I've been okay by Your grace.
I'll be okay this time round, too.
If I do fine, then yay puppies and rainbows, but even if I don't, I pray that my faith will hold strong, because You are the God of the eternal and really, what are A Levels to You even.
Either way, it'll work out.
I know it will.
So God, please grant me the peace of mind that all things work towards Your plan, and I surrender these MCTs into Your hands.
Help me, be my strength, and at the end of the day, the results will be Yours, not mine.
Thank You for being a supergreat God, really, and I know You are far, far bigger than any worry that could ever cross my mind.

And as I turn eighteen, thank You for being there with me through every stage of my life, and for Your love that floods oceans.
I have so many gripes about my family, but the one thing I cannot dispute is how infinitely blessed I am to have been born into an Christian home, to have known You for as long as I can remember.
I give You my life, my future, everything, because You know so much better than I do.
You are a great, great God.
Amen :)

Pray more, worry less.

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